It’s almost been a year since I last posted here, and because it’s been that long, I had to go back and reread the “Wisdom from the Wounds” entry, which was the last time I shared with you all from the principal’s seat.  Let me start off by answering a question I get often when I run into people from my old school district- YES, I miss being in the building at times, but I enjoy the work I do now more because I get to share experiences, develop plans, and really leverage my ability to build relationships with people to help create something unique that will help them make progress at their schools.  It’s shown me that I was more knowledgeable than I initially believed and that self-doubt is real; it’s shown me that I was a damn good principal-period; it’s proven to me that my tendency to be an empath helps me to connect with others and make good decisions, and it makes me appreciate the picture below and those like it even more.  Memories that are connected to milestones are the best ones to have!

To be honest, it’s been a hell of a journey for me over the past nine months, like I’ve birthed something that I never intended to have.  I guess journeying into a new career was the “oops baby” of my life.  And as I reflect on where my mind was back in April of 2022, I think it’s important for me to share more details about how I was placed on the journey of what would soon become unknown territory.  I believe you all have followed my posts because of the vulnerability and transparency that I somehow have been able to disseminate over the internet, and it would be careless of me if I didn’t tell you the whole story of where I was then and where I am now.  As my grandma would say, “Baby, you got a testimony, and God didn’t give you one to keep it to yourself; He gave it to you to share to change somebody else’s life and make it better.”  And if you know me, you know I love my grandma, and she loves Lil’ Greg, as she calls me.  And I can affirm that there is nothing like a grandparent’s love.

In my last two years as principal, I learned the most I’d ever learned in the position.  I probably cursed more than I ever have during my first year as principal, but I can’t even say my first year held more lessons than 2020 or 2021.  Learning to operate in unforeseen circumstances hits a little different than implementing a structured plan that’s been tried and true!  So during Covid, I kept notes and journaled about my successes, concerns, thoughts (both personally and professionally), and I acknowledged in the pages of my journals that I was NOT in a good headspace.  Truthfully, I think at one point I was depressed, but in trying to save others, I wasn’t able to address the issues I had myself.  We all know that my pride and joy was my kids at the school, and I wasn’t able to connect with them, see them every day, and I remembered times of old when I was growing up in Anthony Homes projects with no cable, no internet, and barely enough food to last for the week.  I imagined what my students were going through and I couldn’t help my heart from breaking. It was during that time that I was able to take advantage of the silent spaces that existed throughout my day, and I became a true prayer warrior, calling out the names of kids and submitting my requests to a higher power to take care of those kids while they were away from school.  And because I know God hears my prayers, my heart slowly began to heal.

In 2021, I continued to try my best to learn, and jump on committees to make my district one of the best in the state.  I was excited about changes that were happening, and our kids were slated to grace the halls of the building again!  I was fired up…and I knew that I’d learned a lot and could share the knowledge and experiences I encountered with others.  So I applied for three other positions, some in different districts, willing to take a pay cut with some of them to learn more, share, and continue to grow.  I was granted two interviews and never heard from the other.  And to make a long story short, I received feedback from both interviews that left me in a space where I began doubting myself and really feeling like I would probably have to either be principal for a few more years or go elsewhere to maximize my skillset. The thing about comfort is it’ll hinder your growth if you stay in that space too long.  It’s in those spaces where we’re least comfortable that we find ourselves encountering the most growth. And God was ready to test me to see if I was willing to walk behind Him instead of trying to navigate the trip myself.  So that’s what I did.

In February, I found myself with an opportunity to interview for a position as a Senior Improvement Specialist.  You may be saying, “What exactly is that?” but it’s exactly what it sounds like.  I go to different schools, figure out what they need to do to improve student performance, and we work together to make the plan a reality.  The interview process consisted of four parts where I had to do a self-paced recorded interview, another interview with the company’s CEO, a data analysis presentation, and finally an interview with program managers and directors. It was intimidating, but in situations like these, I oftentimes remind myself of something I learned on my journey to becoming a Kappa man- BE STRONG!  In totality, the interview process really shot by before I knew it, and over the course of about 45 days, I found myself with an offer that would call for me to perform all of the duties and responsibilities that the other jobs I’d applied for would require- things that I’d self-proclaimed to be my passion- and the job would also pay me $20K more than I was making as a principal.  When I first got the package, I fell to the floor and let the waterfalls stream from my eyes to my home office floor.  I can remember saying, “God, thank you for always giving me more than I deserve, and thank you for treating me better than I deserve to be treated.”  And although I had to work through doubt, and heartache, and tears, and really build up my faith to walk down a path I hadn’t seen coming, I was ready.  God rewarded me for not giving up, and before stepping a foot into my new office space, He made it clear for me to always be humble but to also show up in spaces like I belonged there, like He’d sent me there.  And to this day, that’s how I operate.

So here we are…9 months later…and it’s been a journey.  Just this week, I’ve found myself changing travel plans due to snow (yes, SNOW!), and I’ve continued to learn how to maximize my productivity while working from home.  There are some really dope playlists on Youtube that I can share with you if you hit me up! Back in April of 2022, I can clearly remember feeling imposter’s syndrome trying to settle in my space, but I asked questions, used my resources, and continued to work through the troubles, doubts, problems, questions, etc. to achieve what I’d set out to do.

Last night was a pivotal moment for me.  One of the clients I work with called me and we had an hour long conversation regarding some troubles at the school.  It was 9:45 p.m, and by now you should know that I am usually in my bed and sleeping gracefully no later than 9:30 p.m.  I was up and wide awake, and because I don’t really believe in coincidences, I know that it was a moment for God to connect us and make a plan to overcome major, adverse situations.  We talked, and I interjected some of my previous experiences, and we discussed a clear plan to move forward.  In the end, the client said, “Dr. G., I just want to thank you for being a listening ear and for always having a positive way to work through chaos, cause I was about to turn in my resignation and let them have this damn job tomorrow!”  I smiled and said, “Well, you know we have to keep fighting the good fight, and it’s not about what we want to do; it’s about what God needs us to do for Him.”  And in that moment, it clicked with me and became 100% clear that the work that I currently do in five different states will eventually make a huge difference for so many kids and educators.  It also became clear to me that the space that I’m currently operating in is just the beginning of what is in store…and I believe it with every ounce of breath I have in me. Although it hasn’t been declared, we’re in a state of emergency in public education, and there are some major plans, practices and promises we have to enact to save it!

So as I wrap up, if you are in a space where you’re feeling defeated or feeling like you’re not making a difference, do some self-reflection to figure out from where those feelings stem.  The second thing you need to do is build a strong relationship with God through prayer, meditation, and time to focus.  Personally, I get up at 4 a.m because everyone in the house is still sleep, and that eerie silence somehow helps me connect and forget all that’s around me.  I’m not saying that you have to get up that early, but if you want to get the worm, it’s something you probably should consider!  Lastly, you need to listen and work on your faith.  We try so hard to work things out and make our own plans, but what we really need to do is align with the plan that God has for us and walk in it, no matter what it looks like.  It gets scary, but ultimately, you’ll find yourself seeing and doing some remarkable things.  My grandma has told me, “God may not come when you want Him, but you need to remember that He’ll always show up on time.”  Listen to my grandma.  I did.  And deep down in my heart, I think you should too!

Be accountable.  Be committed.

Dr. G.